my day at the dr.'s - hyperbole and a half style.

it was a beautiful monday morning. 

the sun was shining, my hair looked like zooey deschanel's, and i had an eye doctor's appointment which meant... new glasses!

nick came with me as my support, and we checked in as usual.

first things first, the nurse checked my vision.

it turns out that my eyes are actually better than they were 6 years ago (who would have thought?) all was simple protocol until, out of nowhere, disaster happened. 

"these drops are going to numb your eyes so we can check your eye pressure. it might sting a little."

oh, it hit me. 

my eyes felt 6 bajillion times their size, and i couldn't take it. i got so dizzy & throw-uppy that i remember grabbing the nurse's arm and saying, "i may or may not pass out. hold on."

and that's exactly what happened. 

of course, being unconscious, this is what i thought i looked like:

this is what i actually looked like:

when i finally came to, there was a glass of orange juice in my hand

and someone was touching my head.

it was my handsome nick. not only was he rubbing my head (the way i like it) but he had removed my jacket for me. apparently i had been sweating pretty bad... that sweetheart. then the dr. came in to check on me.

 "we didn't have a chance to check the pressure yet," says the nurse.

so they did it again!

when the nurse still couldn't get my eye pressure measured, they jammed a stick covered with numbing stuff into the bottom crease of my socket.

after the brief 2 seconds of "checking my eye pressure" she goes, "yay! the hard part's overrrr!" and doc came back in. i wasn't listening.

they dilated my eyes, and we ended up back in the waiting room.

the bright waiting room.

i slept on nick's shoulder & ate a watermelon dum-dum while simultaneously suppressing my urge to hurl all over the carpet. 

an eternity later i was called back into office so he could check my glaucoma; only one of my eyes had dilated all the way. 

he then handed me my prescription, a fake pair of terminator ray bans & a pat on the back. 

we went to the mall and got real ray bans. 

i'm never going back.