prose on cutting hair

it's no surprise that i love changing my hair.

all. the. time.

but seriously chopping it off? now that's a tad daring, i'd say.

i'd been thinking about it for quite some time (say, 8th grade) and i finally just did it.
i scheduled an appointment & took work off for that day.
i knew cailey would take it all off for me without any hesitation, which is why i chose her.
anyways.
so i show up at paul mitchell and i'm tapping my toes waiting for cailey to get me.
it was nerve wracking.
i wish i could say i was so ready for it, that i was excited and butterflies were flitting like they were on my wedding day before i went into the sealing room.
but no. these were the driving test/when someone calls your name for an audition/pre-AP testing/job interview/realizing you started your period & you're wearing a white skirt/driving in down town salt lake scary butterflies where your insides are on fire & it makes you want to curl up in a ball and giigle like a maniac at the same time.
then she was there.
i gathered my things and glided over to the chair. (what was that, you were, like, flying!)
we pulled my hair into 6 mini-pony tails and cailey buzzed them off.
and then it was gone.
my hair.
gone.

what. did. i. just. do?

a cut. a shampoo. a color. another shampoo. another cut.
4 hours & pounds of hair later,

i was done.

it was shock, there's no other way to explain it.
all my hair was just gone, and there was this girl in the mirror with a short fohawk on her head.
i started to get excited, and then nervous, and then excited again, and then scared (i wished i would have worn makeup that morning)
and it was purple.
dark blue & purple hair.
what would nick think?
what would my boss think?
what will my parents think?
what willl everyone think?

and then, i was like, you know what? i love it.
i LOVE IT.
i laughed at myself in the mirror as i slathered some mascara on.
and then it didn't matter.
i felt more like myself than i had in YEARS.
i was no longer hiding behind my hair, and i could tell people were more focused on my face, my eyes, and who i was as a person.
all the weight (figuratively & literally) was GONE.
my family loved it (despite my mother hiding her face with her hand and gasping for what felt like a whole minute, and my little sister not recognizing me)
and then my husband loved it & hugged me a gazillion times, then i hung out with him in the architecture building & he introduced me as his wife who just got a haircut.
my best friend loved it.
and i have never, not once, in the whole week i've had this haircut, 1. had a bad hair day 2. hated my hair 3. regretted cutting it or 4. wished i still had long hair.

it is seriously the best thing that i've ever done just for myself.
ever.

i always thought that "if i was a boy i would...." with my hair.
but now i do.
i get out of the shower (which is so much shorter, by the way. and we are going to save a TON of money on shampoo and conditioner.) tousle it a little with the towel, throw some gel in it, comb it to my heart's content, blow dry it a little so it keeps it's structure, and i'm done.
DONE.
now i'm getting a little more daring with my eyeliner & lipstick & mascara (which i, like, never wore ever before)
and i love my hair.
i love who i am & i love everything about me and myself.
honestly, i've become the person i know i am inside and out.

so here's my advice: if you want to do something with your hair, or anything for that matter (trust me, i'm still getting ready to do things nobody saw or expected, even me. but i sat down & decided that from now on i'm doing exactly what i want to.) despite what others may think or how you may look or what you're afraid someone might say or think about you, do it.
please just do it.
because what's the worst that could happen?
hair grows back & there is such a thing as "color correction" and "extensions." most salons even have this policy that if you really hate it you can come back and they'll fix it for free or just for the cost of dye.
and if it's really bad, take a video of it and put it on youtube- then you'll be funny/awful and you'll know never to do that again. & you'll get to invest in a load of cute hats. (i brought a big chunky hat to my hair cut just in case it took a turn for the worst. which it didn't.)

& that's my story.
(p.s. i went to the dentist yesterday, and no cavities! woohoo!)